Saturday, September 15, 2007
This was the day I've been dreading for ages. I've been pretty good at holding back the tears and diverting my thoughts to other things as the days grew closer, but today there was no avoiding it. I had to watch him walk away, and there was nothing he or I could do about it. I suppose it was as quick and as painless as it could get. It wasn't long and drawn out or anything, but going back to his apartment before handing in the keys caused it to start sinking in. He's gone. There's no longer any sign that he was there only the screaming sound of nothing. His shoes are no longer by the front door, his toothbrush no longer by the sink, and even his car has left it's parking spot permanently. Now that I'm back at my own apartment I face the same common tortures. A bar of soap, an empty water glass, the indention on the new carpet where his duffel bag was. You know, just little things that never mattered before. I was done before I realized that I perfectly lined up every can of soda in my fridge the exact way he had it in his own with all the labels facing out. V8 then Dr. Pepper then Coke and finally Sprite with one Coke Zero in the front. It's perfect. I don't even drink those things, but I suppose I thought maybe if he needed them everything would be ready and in it's place. Now I just need him to be in his place..... right here.