Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Crazy Life

(I like to think of songs to go with my posts, so I added one to my playlist down on the side menu to the right. It's called Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy. Turn on the volume and set the mood...) Man! Things have been crazy lately. Some days I wish I had more of a boring life. I've been home a couple times in the past month or so. Family is still dramatic. It always is. My love life is nuts as usual as well. As of the moment: I'm single. You'd think I was juggling half a dozen guys at once with all the emotions that are flying around though. My last boyfriend broke up with me right when another ex comes back into my life. Irony always finds a foot in the door, doesn't it? Anyhow, I feel like I'm in a love triangle now or something of a midnight talk show interest. I'm single, so I should be free of all blame and guilt and strings from either end, but instead I'm surrounded with everything but content. This last guy totally makes me feel guilty about everything I've ever done from the start. I'm not sure if it's a manipulative thing, or if I really am a total screw-up. You know, it's hard to see something beautiful looking at your own reflection, but he made me see it. He had me wrapped up in a dream. I was a star brighter than the moon itself. It wasn't long after though that every vessel and pore in my body exposed some sort of flaw. I was over-weight, someone who didn't care about my appearance, a domestic failure, not classy enough, a bad driver, and not to mention completely boring with a fake affection for babies. I'm sure glad he pointed out that I'm such a cruddy girlfriend. Wouldn't you want someone to tell you how sucky you are? I don't want to live in a bubble! (Babies do smell a bit musky now that I step back and look at the big picture.) I have to be a hero and a homemaker, a lover and a fighter, a woman and a warrior, and all the while wearing control top panty hose! I mean, he's the one who started getting back into the dating scene while we were still in a "committed relationship". Isn't that cheating??? Didn't he just get out of a relationship because his ex cheated on him??? There's good ol' irony knocking at the door again...

11 comments:

Estivalia said...

well, honestly? I hope karma bites his sorry ass. There's something just *wrong* with saying all that stuff about you *now*. Seriously, if he thought all that things about you... why he dated you? To me, it's just a lot of crap and you shouldn't really mind it :(

I just wish thinks start to get better soon for you. I sent you a card yesterday, hope that brightens your day a little, my friend.

Lorien Clark said...

Sorry you are going through this. You need to forget about those boys and take care of yourself. Find some time to do what you enjoy (and we love to see). Go stamp something!

Debbie/StudioBeeCreations said...

OH ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....I keep telling you...ya gotta find a NON-Military dude.....I'll get Gary to check the "availables" at LOWES!!...then you'd have a 2 for 1 deal!!....Cant wait to see you this weekend....we SOOOOOOOO need to catch up & PLAYPLAYPLAY!!!

Stephanie Earls said...

So glad to see you posting. Wish you luck in the love dept. The best advice I can offer is not to go back through the old lineup. You traded 'em for one reason or another. You don't have to settle for anyone not worthy of YOU.

Melissa said...

Boy! Nothing can leave you scratching your head like a guy who behaves like that!

Hang in there girl and remember that your worth doesn't come from some guy!

Many Blessings,
Melissa

Laura Roth said...

Sorry you are having a crazy time. Hopefully the new year will bring you something better! You deserve it for being a hero and a homemaker, a lover and a fighter, a woman and a warrior, while wearing control top panty hose! :) Here's to 2008!

Sandy said...

Laura I'm so glad to see ya posting again, but man....give that guy the backside of yer boot!!! Goodness. What do men think they achieve by being boors????? Do not listen to him, he's fulla....well fulla things I just don't say anymore!!

Do what you LOVE. Spend time on YOU and what makes you happy when you're not with that other species. The guy that's meant for you will recognize that joy in your heart, and will encourage you and not tear you apart. You deserve way better.

And like Lorien said, go stamp somethin'!

Leslie Miller said...

Wow! That sounds like a good relationship to wave goodbye to as it's going down the road! You know, the best guy comes along when you're not looking. Easy for me to say. You don't need advice, anyway. You just need to know there's nothing about you that needs to change.

One thing I've noticed about single girls is that they're okay being single until they're no longer single. Once they become a couple and then they're no longer a couple they're very anxious to become a couple again. I see a lot of frustration, hurried, rash and bad decisions made. I scratch my head but I'm not in their shoes so I can't expect to understand. I hope someday you're as lucky as I was when my perfect fit drifted into my life. Take care, Laura.

Laura Roth said...

Also, I want to let you know that you should check out my blog...I've nominated you for an award :)

Alexandra said...

Get rid of him and concentrate on yourself - he is NOT something you need in your life! And, while you are at it, dump the control tops girl - LOL! *STAMPIN HUGS* Alex

vbarefoot said...

True love will come along when the time and the people are right. Relax, enjoy the things you can control, and swim with the current when you can control the forces against you. You will get to the end of the journey.

Love you much more than anyone else ever can.

MOM