Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Worst Date EVER!

I just love the rub on I used for the 'V'. It reminds me of those check yes or no letters we used to pass around to as kids. Anyhow, I forgot to fill you in on another date I had over a week ago now. (It was after the car accident date and before the Cha-ching date... got it?) Okay, so I met this guy at a nice place downtown in Nashville, and once we got in there I was wondering why he said we should wear jeans here. I didn't see anyone else dressed that way. It was one of those places where even the waiters were dressed better than James Bond. There was nothing I could do about my outfit a this point anyhow. The place had a fairly funky menu, so I opted for the safe chicken fingers. Besides, I was already dressed to wipe my hands on my own pants. The chicken fingers turned out to be more of a mountain of fried poultry than a delicate finger food more appropriate for eating during a date conversation. I nearly had to have a booster seat to look over my chicken mound at my date peering out over the top of his Eiffel Tower shaped mashed potato wad. I obviously didn't finish even half of my meal, but rest assured that my date got every crumb off of his plate before he started to indulge on my leftovers. We had already planned on going to a musical venue after dining, so I followed him in my own car to our second location. We didn't get one block out of the parking lot before he had his entire head and half of his torso out of the window while shaking his fist, yelling, and punching his horn at a car trying to merge in front of him. I was embarrassed, and I wasn't even in the same car! There's more. We pulled into the parking lot behind some building that I had yet to identify as something more than an old shack that had gone out of business or was about to be turned into a parking lot any day now. The show wasn't supposed to start for over an hour, so I suggested that we get ice cream down the street. He then walked around to my driver's side door and signaled me to put my window down. He then said, "I've got an emergency!" I heard a zip and a tinkle! Is he? No! YES!!! He's totally peeing right here next to me in the parking lot. I didn't know what to do, so I just turned up the radio for him. I didn't know if I was doing him a favor or myself. I don't know why I'm still on the date at this point, but I was still in shock I suppose. We made our way over to the ice cream place where I made my way to the bathroom to call for back up. I informed my secret bail-out agent to call me in 20 minutes with an emergency call from work before heading back out to enjoy my favorite Coke float. This part of the date wasn't so bad. I did have to clean up his huge sloppy ice cream mess before we left though. I guess it was bad. By the time we got back to the parking lot I had received my emergency call, and I told him I had to leave. He wasn't too upset, but he did want a goodnight kiss. He leaned in while I did the awkward head dance trying to give him anything but my lips. I was locked in one of those hugs that just doesn't know when to end while his "little buddy" started to get excited. That's when he points down at his crotch and says, "Compliments to the lady!" OMG! I'm sure I don't have to tell you that there has been no second date and nor do I plan on there ever being one. Ewwww! Deep breath.... back to the project: Here's what I did: I adhered, trimmed, and sanded the patterned paper to the letter first, and then highlighted various words with Star Dust Stickles. The three pieces of ribbon are just tied on and were found among my collection. The acetate wings are from Heidi Swapp and are adhered with Scrappy Glue. I then took a scrap piece of patterned paper from this collection and made a heart shaped tag using the Making Memories Tag Maker and applied it with a pop up glue dot. (The rub on is from 7Gypsies and was applied to the patterned paper before the metal rim.) I found the little red button stuck to the bottom of my foot, so I attached it to the tag with Scrappy Glue and covered it in Stickles as well. And...that's it!

15 comments:

Debbie/StudioBeeCreations said...

EWWWWWWWWWWW, is right!!!....EVen after already hearing the story from you in person...when I read it, its even MORE weird!!!!
worth another EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Need another date with Mr. Cutie Patootie!

Flossie's Follies said...

OMG, where do these guys come from. I truly believe that men are single for a reason and this one proves the point, women are single cause all the good ones were taken in grade school. I love your altered letter, sorry but can't believe that he urinated right there next to you, that would have been my cue to leave.

Estivalia said...

O-M-G and, as Debbie properly stated.... EEEEEEEW!

But your project is lovely! I like how you are using Stickles to add a little bling... I ordered some too! ;)

Brenda said...

Look at it this way, it is one more toad you have kiss.Yuuuccckkkkk ! Too bad you didn't have it in you to throw up on him at that point, I think it would be the best medicine for all those idiots who gauge everything with that stick of theirs ! { Little do they know that we gauge them by how they act with that stick }

More importantly, the " V " is absolutely awesome ! Will you post a pic of all together when you are finished ?

Melissa said...

Oh Laura! Where on earth do these guys find you?!

Your project is fabulous though!

Many Blessings,
M.

Stephanie Earls said...

OMG, I think I know his older brother! Years ago, my "friend" set me up with her boyfriend's friend. I should have known better than to go when he came to pick me up. He came in, met my family and seemed really nice at that point. When we got out to my driveway, there was no outside door handle on the passenger door of his car so he had to get in on the driver's side and open my door from the inside. DUMB me got in and yep it was downhill from there. God gives us those warning signs. I don't know why we try to be NICE and ignore them! Better luck next time. Any trips to SC planned yet?

Jan Scholl said...

I had a guy lock me in his car and was not gonna let me out until I eloped with him! He was a son to a man my dad knew from way back-a preacher's son. his name was gross and he was!

Alexandra said...

GROSSSSSSS!!!! How horrible it that - compliments??!! Sheesh, glad you got rid of him! YUCK! So, what about hte other guy??

Your V is marvelous, love the colors and the bling, gotta have bling baby! *STAMPIN HUGS* Alex

Nikki Bond said...

OMG!!! You remind me why it was a good thing to get married to my highschool sweetheart! I'm so glad I didn't have to go through all the dating adventures you have had! There are some freaky ones out there.....what would he mother think???? I hope your next one is wayyyy better! Love your altered letters too!!! {SMILES}

jayne said...

Jeeso Peets!!!!I remember a date I had once MANY moons ago, He was supposed to pick me up after work at my apt. I got off work went home and the stairway was dark to my upstairs apt, I started to go up and the creep was sitting in the dark on the stairs waiting for me. He never said a word until I almost stepped on him, never had anybody so creepy and that was the last time I saw him. But there are still some good ones out there, I didn't marry mine until I was 25. Don't give up, ooops forgot , love the V

Mary said...

This is my favorite of your dating stories so far, I laughed so hard! I mean, I feel so awful for you to have to actually meet a guy like this but it is funny. And terrible. I'm just glad you are blogging again!
~Mary

Shannon said...

You have officially received the record for worst date in my opinion. I'm glad to hear you had back-up. The compliments to the lady would have taken me over the edge!

Kathy W said...

What a terrible experience! Good thing you had a backup person to cut this nightmare short. Great project, thanks for sharing.

Dana said...

Laura, I don't have to ask where you find these guys. I apparently shopped from the same reject outlet mall! Fortunately, I went for a complete change of pace and found Mr. Forever. But LORD, that old line is right about kissin' alot of toads before you find him! lol. Good Luck G/F!

Leslie Miller said...

OMG!! That's all I can think to say about that! But you're doing some mighty fine paper crafting!