Monday, September 29, 2008


Well, after I wrote that last post I went back to work, and something big went down. Maybe I should start from the very beginning... I'll try to keep to the main events. As I've mentioned, last fall I was assaulted by an authority figure in my unit. A big investigation happened, and I was told to keep my mouth shut while all this happened. He was immediately removed from the unit temporarily until the investigating authority was able to put forth a conclusion on guilt. I however had to stay at the unit during that time. It was quite a lengthy amount of time for the investigation to wrap up, but when it did I found myself still at the school. I was told that it wasn't a good time for the unit since the other person in my section was retiring. We needed to find and train a replacement before I could leave. The next excuse was that I needed to find and train a replacement for myself. These two new people and now a third and fourth have come into my section and are fully capable of doing my job, but still I haven't left. Why?! A couple months ago I finally asked my big boss what the deal was. He then said I just needed to go find a a job somewhere else. I did, but still I stayed. Then I was told I needed to take a couple of classes to benefit my career. What? At this point I knew there was no way they were going to let me leave willingly, so I went to visit one of my good friends for advice. She's one of those gals that knows it all and will tell me exactly what I need to hear when I'm falling apart. She told me to call up my branch manager (the person in charge of assigning medics to different units across the whole Army) to let them know my situation. I did, and in a blink I had orders sending me to another unit at Fort Campbell. I thought everything was finally going to work out until the assignments manager here at Fort Campbell called to talk to my big boss. It turns out he put a lock on my position so no one could move me. I broke down at that point. I sat in my little cubicle at work and balled my eyes out. I should know by now that I can't do anything in private at work, because just when I thought I was alone another head honcho walked over to ask what was wrong. I spilled the beans and he sent me to the commander's office where I spilled the beans again and a few more tears. The commander had no idea that all this was happening and made me feel better about the situation, but also told me that he'd have to talk to my big boss before he'd let me go. This was what I was dreading. I went to lunch for an hour, and came back hoping all was well. I wasn't in the door two seconds before my section leader called me in for a verbal smack down for jumping the chain of command. I asked permission to explain myself, but he said "I don't want to hear it!" So, I just sat there and took it. Finally, at the end of my lashing he asked me if I had anything to say for myself. I started to cry again followed by babbles of everything that had transpired over the past year all the way up to earlier that day. He then proceeded to tell me that I was being released to another unit on post. I didn't know what to think. I couldn't think. I was drained emotionally, but so relieved to be rid of my poison. I still don't have orders yet, but I hope and pray every spare second that they'll come today. I dread every breath I have to take in that place, and I know that I'm on the edge of screaming at the next tick of the clock. I'm holding back the rage and anguish with every thread of strength I have at this point. I just hope I can hold up a bit longer.


Marie said...

I will keep you in my prayers Laura. I can only hope that this works out for you. I can't imagine staying in my squadron after something like that, much less even staying at the same BASE. If all you want is out of your unit I just don't see why they're being this way unless somehow your "big boss" is holding some kind of grudge against you for the initial incident. Maybe because you reported it, or perhapes he liked the person who assaulted you? I don't know, but either way, you will be in my prayers. Take care, and you really need to find a friend and talk and hang out with them. Don't be by yourself when you're feeling this way - it's hard to get out of a funk like this on your own....Hugs!!!

Estivalia said...

Oh my, this sounds so awful!! The Army looks like the worst place for a girl :(

I really don't know what's up with your boss, seems like a real douché to me.

I hope that you'll be allowed to move out from that place soon, and know that I'll keep you in my thoughts. A big hug for you my dear friend, all the way from here :)

Basement Stamper said...

it seem to me that you are being treated very unfairly there!!!

I'm sorry for all that you are going through and I hope that you have sought out some counseling, it would probably help with some of that anger that you have to talk to someone.

Keeping you in my prayers.

Debbie/StudioBeeCreations said...

ok...seriously...has THIS all happened since we spoke the other night when you texted me?...I am so upset with your "upline" superiors!...let me at 'em!....we need a play date for sure....!!!

Bee said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through all that crap! As if being assaulted in the 1st place wasn't enough! It seems like you reached a breaking point but also things will have to change now, and in your situation change is good, and this will put new wind in your sails! I hope you know more very soon so you can start moving on.
You're in my thoughts and prayers.♥


I hope all works out for you!! And that you get moved so you can do the job you love! Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Anonymous said...


Keep your spirits up. Your situation will change. How I don't know but it will and to your advantage. My husband spent 23 years in the Army when women weren't that common. His thought and mine is is your big boss trying to get you out of "his" Army? Do you have legal action you can take. You've already "jumped" the chain of command once in his opinion have you considered JAG or the IG? Don't know if that is an option at this time. Also know that being a trained Medic that your opportunities in the civiliar world are pretty good. How close are you to the end of your current enlistment and do you really Love the Army? Your experiences and training will be markatible unlike my husband's experience of 23 years in the Infantry. Talk about not having a markatable skill when you go civilian that was him. But we made it and he is now retired from the Civilian work world too. So...stay cool, don't be rash but be deliberate about getting out of that HELL HOlE. I personally know what that is like. Not your type of HELL HOLE but mine. Looking back I realized I learned alot about the person making it HELL but I also learned a lot about my self. I learned I was a whole lot stronger than I ever knew. You could also back up and look at this as a learning experience. It is you know. You will learn a lot about you. Remember that you are very strong. You made it though tough training, from your blog you made it though several tough, strenious trainings for your current job. Keep up you strength physically...I mean eat nutricous meals...I know you don't want to but do it...just make them smaller. Get enough sleep..even if it means some help medically....there is no shame is getting medical help for depression if that is something you are dealing with...Yea, My HELL HOLE was depressing me. I been there.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Norma D