Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween

It didn't dawn on me that today was Halloween until I went to the doctor's office this morning. I had to go for a follow up appointment, so there's nothing to worry about there. It certainly doesn't feel like Halloween usually does. I'm not sure what it's supposed to feel like, but however it's supposed to feel it just doesn't. No decorations. No costumes. No pumpkins. No candy. Lilly Belle and I do have matching skeleton tshirts that glow in the dark though. I bought them a few weeks ago when I was more in the mood. Time seems to really be zooming by lately. I find myself thinking about a lot of things I wouldn't normally, but I'm blaming it on the fact that I deploy in a month. I'm savoring so much of life right now. You know, little stuff. Stuff I won't have for a while. Mexican food. Manicures. A curling iron. High heels. Hugs. My first name. Lilly Belle. Christmas. Babies. Blue jeans. Warm from the oven cookies. Icy milk. My car. Baths. Make up. My birthday. My family. There's so much around me that I've never stopped to be thankful for. Stuff I didn't even think twice about. I have so many gifts to be thankful for, and so many things I am undeserving of. Too often I feel like I'm alone in my walk through life, and that God has turned his back on me. It's so easy to get lost in this world. I fight daily with that, but with one step back I can see clearly that I am never left to be alone. God is in every breath I take and in every beat of my heart. He's wrapped around me screaming he loves me, and all I have to do is listen. Sometimes that's the hardest part. I need to push away all the noise in my life and make a quiet place for Him. I need to let him guide me in the right direction instead of fighting it. I need to do the right thing no matter how difficult it is. I need to face my faults and weaknesses. I need to have faith that everything will turn out just right. And I need to keep pushing through the darkness and doubt. I will make it, and I will be okay.


Marie said...

You know what though? The wonderful thing about God is that He doesn't expect us to be perfect. Don't get down on yourself for doubts and insecurities. We ALL have them. EVERYONE has them, and no one is perfect in every way. I think that you need to learn to love yourself as much as others that care about you do. I know that for myself, when I truly began to be confident in myself, my abilities, my strenghts, my talents, and I loved myself - that's when things worked out better than I could have dreamed them to. I gained a testimony of a Heavenly Father that loves me, a Savior that died for me, and in my personal life, I found my husband. I don't think any of that would have happened if I didn't decide to just love myself even if it felt like no one else did or would. Anyway, enough of that!

I didn't know you were deploying? I must have missed it??? How long are you going for? I'd LOVE to send care packages your way.... ;) Let me know and once you have an address "there", shoot me an e-mail when you can and I'll send you goodies!!! So that you have it handy, my address is:

Take care - and I think you're AWESOME - know that....really KNOW that. I mean it. Hugs!!!

Anonymous said...

OK, I too want to know where are you going to now? That was one think I liked about being an Army wife....moving...Not the moving. The new place, new people. From the sounds of it you might be gong to one of the two sand pits in the world. Your tour there will end. I know several who have been and they made it just fine. So will you. And I too would love to send you goodie boxes. Will you be able to post your new address here so that those of us who care will be able to give you long distance "hugs".

Norma D

Estivalia said...

Can I still reach you on the address I have? If you're still there for a month, I'm so going to send you something ASAP :)

jayne said...

Hey Laura
I too would like to send ya stuff when you deploy. We will be thinking of you, if you read your comments here, you aren't alone out here, you have lots of friends like us who care about you even if we haven't met you!